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the best sentence in all the world

beautyyytime:

Why one eyebrow always comin out Gucci and the other eyebrow comin out Walmart

mother-fucking-avengers:

mother-fucking-avengers:

im dying of period cramps on the sofa and i heard someone in the kitchen and assumed it was my mom so i yelled I CAN FEEL MY UTERUS PULSING HELP and my dad came into the room with the most horrified expression on his face

i found this on my bed

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crocobaby:

Do you think every president goes through a awkward first few weeks in office when they’re not sure when’s the right time to ask if aliens are real or not?

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iwilleatyourenglish:

once i went to the movie theater with my friend who wears hijab and while we were sitting down she turned to me and said “people always ask me what i have under here. let me show you” and proceeded to whip out two dorito bags, three hostess cakes, and a pack of gummy worms

breakfastburritoe:

when ur texting a boy and he wants to play the question game

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“When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.”
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ponderation:

Daisies in gold light by Carlos Rojas
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